No matter how fun and solid relationships are, there is still no guarantee that it will end up with a happily ever after. Breaking up is one of the hardest challenges that a couple has to go through and sometimes, relationships that go bad with a break up that is equally worse stay that way. The “let’s be friends” parting words are normally just said but not done especially if both parties are bitter and angry. Even if it is an obvious fact that both parties will be happier with other people, it is but human nature to procrastinate about difficult decisions.

Break ups are never easy even if it is already expected because talking about, deciding and agreeing on the break up will make everything real, which is a tomorrow without your partner. To make a break up less hard than it already is, here is some advice:

Keep it between the two of you. Out of respect for her or for him, never tell your friends that you’re going to break up with your partner. The grapevine can come up with an edited version of what is supposed to happen and the reason why you’re going to ask for a break up. The break up should be private and first to know should be your partner. A break up heard first from a friend rather than from you makes the pain and the betrayal worst.

Do it yourself and do it in person. There is no sense of asking a mutual friend to deliver messages and rally back and forth between the two of you. Do it in person. You owe it to your partner to tell him/her your change of heart face to face. Never consider breaking up over the phone, thru email or chat and even worst never thru SMS.

Keep it simple and straight to the point. There is no need to torment both of you with unnecessary explanations but yes, you owe him/her an explanation on why you are asking for a break up. There is no need to relive and revive previous misgivings. Be fair to be each other and express a feeling of remorse even a little to let each other know that it is also a difficult decisions that you are making. Sure, after the break up is over, it is natural that you want to distance separating you but while doing the break up, be decent and fait and do it in person.

Be ready for tears and for any other emotions. Ending a relationship can definitely cause tears especially in the female side. Be an emotional rock for her but also expect anger and indifference in the days right after the break up. It is expected but has a smooth break up can actually make a difference when it comes to the post break up emotions.

Face the consequences of your decision and keep your word. A break up is enough heartache but it is a living hell when you decide that you want to be together after all and after a few weeks, go thru the pain of a break up again. Stick to your word since there is nothing worse than an off and on, flip-flop relationship. If you want to be out, then ask for a break up. It is either you’re in or you are out. There is nothing in between. Expect that there would be a relationship strain too after the first weeks or months of the break up. There are also instances when you can never talk to your previous partner anymore even after years following the break up or you might lose some of his/her friends that you have bonded with.

Overall, a breakup is a complete heartache and no amount of advices can make it feel better. Advice to make the break up smoother and more decent can at least make the difference that you need.